> Hello Bob,
I´m not quite sure what to say about this. Obviously your intention is not to give the reader the whole story and thereby to allow him/her to create the narrative they wish but teenage tears don´t make an enticing topic to pusue, important though they may seem to the subject at the time. I don´t really see why you have included the elements that are in the poem - all that food and the contrast between warm and cold. Are they there to hint at something behind the situation, something for the reader to interpret? Or is the idea just that many people eat when they are miserable? I don´t know, but maybe the subject needs developing further to get the reader´s interest.
Hope this is helpful.
Best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2003/10/07 ti PM 02:01:40 GMT+03:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: The Chest Freezer
>
> Things seem really quiet right now... (and I think I'd prefer this one to
> appear among a host of others!).
> But here it is for some C & C:
>
> The Chest Freezer
>
> Sat on the lid, feeling the warmth at your back,
> sobbing like only a seventeen-year-old can sob,
> not saying anything out loud, not hearing the hum
> from behind the trembling chickens, lamb’s hearts,
> sausages, livers, profiteroles - and the Haagen Daas
> which is all the comfort food a body needs
> when sat on the freezer, feeling the warmth.
>
> Bob Cooper
>
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