> Hello again Sue,
Ah, I´m not sure that this is an improvement over the revision that I commented on a moment ago. This reads, by contrast, as rather overworked. That´s just my first impression having come on this version so soon after reading the earlier revision and I´ve only read it through once........I wrote that and then read the poem through again, and liked it a lot more. The two versions are so different, this one is so much more `lush´ (a word you use yourself). It´s growing on me. Why not keep both versions and even publish them side by side, an illustration of how the same theme can be differently approached?
Best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: Sue Scalf <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2003/09/27 la PM 07:45:41 GMT+03:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: Roses, final revision
>
> Another Poem About Roses
>
>
> Whispering in plush seductions
> the lusts of fall, Don Juan's
> have stolen their way
> up the trellis to a rendezvous,
> blossoms big as cups,
> feverish for a change of seasons,
> change of lovers.
>
> I have had enough of summer,
> am impervious to lushness,
> welcome, instead, a dormancy,
> pleadings of winter wind and snow.
> I know whatever springs may come,
> I shall never love again.
>
> Taste from my lips this honey,
> this last of song.
> One more for roses;
> one more, my love, for you.
>
> Sue Scalf
>
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