Hi Colin,
You ask for 'some impression of "what it means to me" would be helpful...'
Well, you asked for this! So here goes! I'm going to trim this right down to
what I think it's saying to me:
"Yet nice the house won't sell.
Neighbours won't say when I ask
but while we stand on shared ground
I say how nice their garden seems,
watch averted glances,
stiff smiles and wonder why.
They blame the estate agent.
My eyes wander to the wet field
where fence posts rotted when the rain stayed,
the invasion of council grass,
sedge from the marsh."
And I'd think hard about a title that focuses on House Selling! Cos, on the
surface, that's what the poem's about! (The common ground/shared ground
stuff you mention needs to be there - but don't wave it too loudly/brightly
- we can find it if we read slowly, carefully, and let every word, every
phrase, count!).
You preface the poem by saying it's an exercise in "understatement." I can't
work out why this poem needs to understate everything... And you then
consider a spectrum between clarity and obscurity in regard to writing and
poems... I don't see things that way. I guess it's often really difficult to
be clear, I accept that, and it's worth aiming for. But, with this piece, I
just think it needs focus! Being "focused" seems a better way, IMO, to
describe what a poem should be! It's a word that helps to highlight the
hazy/obscure things, and (where necessasary) sharpen up the essential
things. Focus is a word that can consider small phrases and single words -
and the poem as a whole.
Bob
>From: Colin dewar <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: newsub/common ground
>Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 18:06:52 +0100
>
>An exercise in understatement. So please reflect back to me what it seems
>to
>be about so that I can work out where it is on the old clarity/obscurity
>spectrum. (Not to say that there everyone agrees there is such a spectrum.
>Let's say some impression of "what it means to me" would be helpful,
>thanks.)
>
>Common ground
>
>The For Sale sign is still fresh
>the following week,
>faded the following month.
>Spring passes and it's summer
>by the time I meet my neighbours
>to say how nice their garden seems
>with every blossom bulging
>and every weed pulled from tidy soil.
>
>Yet however nice the house won't sell.
>They won't say it when I ask
>but I watch averted glances,
>stiff smiles and wonder why.
>While we stand on shared ground
>they blame the estate agent.
>My eyes wander to the wet field
>where fence posts rotted when the rain stayed,
>the invasion of council grass
>by sedge from the marsh.
>
>
>Colin
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