Hi Ann,
A powerful poem!
I'm not too sure about the phrase: "G.B.H. with intent. " I mean I know what
it means, it's just I don't find it easy to say after what's gone before...
I sort of feel there's some unwritten event - that something else happenes
after the words explode - and it's missing.
And I wonder if there should be a full stop at the end of the last but one
stanza? (The stanzas seem to flow into each other to me)
Bob
>From: "V. W." <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Jezebel
>Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2003 12:46:45 EST
>
>
>
>JEZEBEL
>
>Queuing for kisses
>they come and go,
>paying for perfection.
>
>Time out
>from terminal headaches
>uncertain land mines
>
>and bruising invisibility.
>A war free zone where
>she mends and patches.
>
>Neighbours,
>righteous as snipers
>wait in ambush
>
>with words.
>Toss them
>like hand grenades.
>
>G.B.H. with intent.
>Scattered bits of her
>left in the street.
>
>For her children
>to step over
>on the way to school.
>
>
>Ann Stockton
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