Thanks to feedback received on this little number I´ve made change to S2 and S3. They now read as follows (are these an improvement?):
The first intimation he received
of this was contained
in the way the chairs looked at him.
Following his natural impulse
he listened, but the walls
stubbornly maintained their silence.
The bedcover´s attitude was more
submissive. `Lie with me,` it whispered.
The old version, if anyone wants to compare, was like this:
The first intimation he received
of this was contained,
I might almost say, concealed,
in the way the chairs looked at him.
As if by reflex, he listened
to the walls of silence.
The bedcover´s attitude remained
submissive. `Lie with me,´ it whispered.
Mike
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