Hi Colin,
I'm busy going through all the stuff in my Inbox and came across your poem
and the comments...
I like the last two words too! A sort of punch-line finality that (for
republican me) says a lot!
Just thought I'd say so! (Grin!!)
Bob






>From: "Dewar Colin [FVPC]" <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: newsub(variables)(Christina)
>Date: Fri, 27 Dec 2002 12:37:59 -0000
>
>Yes, that's how it is. Everything is subjective, the notion that I could
>get
>the "right" advice as much an obstacle as the notion that I couldn't.
>
>
>Colin
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Christina Fletcher [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Thursday, December 19, 2002 7:34 PM
> > To:   [log in to unmask]
> > Subject:      Re: newsub(variables)
> >
> > Hello again, Colin.  I'm just sticking my nose in because I saw a
>comment
> > about the ending of this poem and it's typical of lists that what works
> > for one reader doesn't work for another.  I really like the ending.  I
> > find it very open to interpretation and very touching.  I think, again,
> > that you could cut back some of this poem.  There are parts that repeat
> > information (for example, talking about her behind her back is mentioned
> > in two stanzas) but I like the tone and what it says.
> > bw
> > christina
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >       On the non-independence of variables
> >
> >
> >       People had noticed her slowing down,
> >       her little oversights and errors
> >       and spoke of them behind her back,
> >       the work neglected, the messages
> >       not passed on - bad news
> >       for someone with her job.
> >       And the more they heard them mentioned
> >       The more they were annoyed
> >       And couldn't help comments cleverly snide.
> >
> >       Not one on their own
> >       would have made anything of them,
> >       the dropped spoon,
> >       the misdirected letter
> >       but they got together in twos and threes over tea
> >       and gossiped in the nicest possible way
> >       until everyone knew very well she was going downhill
> >       and I think she came to see it too,
> >       as she said she would retire
> >
> >       and one by one
> >       people changed their tune.
> >       They sensed regret
> >       and said over and over again
> >       how much they'd enjoyed
> >       working with her.
> >       Then someone had a whip round.
> >
> >       Weeks passed
> >       until the big day came
> >       and I sat at the farewell party too, eating
> >       free cakes and sandwiches
> >       because I was in the building
> >       and wrote on the card my own remark
> >       to add to the comments already  present, such as,
> >       "Have a nice life", "Remember me
> >       when you are rich and famous"
> >       and "I'll see you in heaven".
> >
> >       Humorous regards. That's right
> >       they gave her a great send off
> >       with the balloons and retirement bouquet,
> >       the gift vouchers and the new watch
> >       and stood in crowds to see her go
> >       in the decorated car, slowly and in grand style
> >       like royalty.
> >
> >       __________________
> >
> >
> >
> >


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