Hello Ann,
I enjoyed this poem very much. I understand the first stanza introduces the theme of failure or faling to do, to act. I love S2, the images are compelling. I read this stanza as introducing a questing and questioning spirit in the narrator, a wish to act and be decisive, although the line `obeying orders in borrowed plumes´ suggests a degree of timidity in this desire. The narrator presents a conventional, but false, appearance. The central four stanzas seem to be the heart of the poem and I read them as an attempt to question religious faith critically and either renounce it or (possibly) receive reassurance, although the tone of the poem makes such a simple solution seem unlikely. I read a terrible weight of failure and resignation in the final stanza. That is how I read the poem. I don´t know if it´s the same as you felt you had put into it. I think you´ve handled a difficult subject very subtly and tactfully. I like the language, images, rhythm. The only change I would suggest is to remove `over coffee´ in S3 line 2.
I hope these comments are useful.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
THE RETREAT
A kind of ? This is Your Life ? in reverse.
The day I didn?t dive from the top board
of the old Stockton swimming baths.
The night I didn?t fall head over heels.
Wanting to shine light into high corners
I embraced these absorbing absences,
obeying orders in borrowed plumes.
Stealing bread where I could.
Only once did I dare,
dismantling God at the kitchen table, over coffee.
It seemed so repellent, such wanting.
Waiting with driven heart
like Abraham
knife poised
for a voice that never came,
at least for me.
In the terrible sudden freedom
I could have chosen light or dark.
Protested with blood and bone
the rights of a living world,
but the old evading piety
covers my confusion,
sees me re assemble Him
before Compline rings to tell of treachery.
They are kind, my Sisters,
they keep me on to dust
the show house, shaking their heads
at my homelessness.
Ann Stockton
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