On Thu, 28 Aug 2003 07:38:55 EDT, Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> Wings
> I heard the Holy Ghost today.
> You'd think they'd mew but no:
> no ears pricked up to scan the sound.
> They yawned, that's all. And then
> they bared their bellies to the sky.
>
> I carried on unfolding sheets,
> deciphering the doubled stains:
> death moths and masks, sly eyes
> and genitals -- until I saw the wall
> and noticed glass set in the brick
>
> but veiled with paint.
> Well, I teased and peeled the skin.
> If there was anything behind the pane,
> I couldn't see it. And now I've wicks to dip
> and lippy mouths to feed.
>
> Think what you like: no sweat.
> And yes, it must have been a rat,
> a gush of soot, the pointless flap
> of vanes split to the quill by wind.
> christina fletcher
Dear Cristina
I like this but have a few problems.
Who are "they"? Why the colon after "but no"?
Isn't "up" after "pricked" superfluous both for sense and scansion?
Is the "but" in the enjambment after "brick" really necessary?
"No sweat" sounds rather too colloquial for all the rest.
What exactly does the last line mean? "split to the quill" (quills since
vanes is plural) seems rather like metrical filler.
Can you fill me in?
antidora (the one with the queer name)
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