Dear Sue,
I enjoyed this, but you don't need the 'tell-y' first 3 lines.
Start at 'He recalls his mother,' and the reader will work it out without
being poked in the ribs. Ditto with 'Now' later on.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sue Scalf" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, August 23, 2003 4:25 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] Baggage for Garydawg
> Baggage
>
>
> Heavy with joy and regret,
> that invisible luggage weighs him down,
> but still he carries it.
> He recalls his mother, her purse,
> how she fished out dimes, quarters,
> her generous hand,
> and his father's sample case
> smelling of leather, cigarettes;
> the greetings and good-byes; and school,
> the way his satchel banged his knees
> when he ran, that raw-hide pouch
> holding worn aggies, cloudy marbles,
> the memory of lightning-bug summers,
> and the caterpillar webs that sagged from elms,
> the torches his grandfather made
> to burn them down;
> and later, much later, Napalm,
> the stench of flesh, the body counts.
> Now in the shade of a concrete pillar
> and tucked under the off-ramp,
> he leans against his backpack,
> untwists brown paper
> from the neck of a bottle
> and savors the first sweet swallow,
> quenching, burning.
> The wine winks in sunset's light
> like fireflies on hazy lawns.
> Slowly he unpacks the years
> and thinks he hears his mother
> calling him home.
>
> Sue Scalf
>
> http://members.aol.com/poetscalf
>
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