Great, I just needed confirmation of intent!!!!
On reflection, the only thing that is a bit outside the rest of the poem is
the first line. I know that Daedalus is being addressed, but the first line
*seems* IMHO to be contrived a tad. For the rhyme? or not?
Best,
Roger.
----- Original Message -----
From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2003 1:02 AM
Subject: Re: New sub: The Ghost of Icarus-Roger
> Dear Roger,
> I don't see any problem about varying traditional
rhyme-schemes,
> and in fact, I think a change in rhyme scheme after the volta stresses the
> turn in the argument, and the 'ecstatic' voice of Icarus.
> I've seen many modern sonnets that ignored the trad. cdecde Petrarchan
> close -I think that's why the modern sonnet is so versatile -it offers
> infinite possibilities for variation.
> Kind regards,
> grasshopper
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Roger Collett" <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2003 12:49 AM
> Subject: Re: [THE-WORKS] New sub: The Ghost of Icarus-Sue, Ryfkah
>
>
> > Grassy
> > Did you really mean to do this?
> > You now have an Italian/Elizabethan hybrid.
> > Roger
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "grasshopper" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Saturday, August 23, 2003 9:15 PM
> > Subject: Re: New sub: The Ghost of Icarus-Sue, Ryfkah
> >
> >
> > > Ryfkah and Sue,
> > > Glad you liked it.
> > > It's a first draft, and I've already revised it to give the octave the
> > > traditional Petrarchan 2 rhyme-scheme, by substituting veer/steer for
> > > yearn/turn.
> > > Kind regards,Maz
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: "Ryfkah *" <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > > Sent: Saturday, August 23, 2003 6:24 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [THE-WORKS] New sub: The Ghost of Icarus
> > >
> > >
> > > > Grassy
> > > >
> > > > Your poem recreates both emotional and physical experience through a
> > myth.
> > > > It is a profound tome imho.
> > > >
> > > > kol tuv, Ryfkah
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > In a message dated 08.23.03 12:46:27 AM,
> > > [log in to unmask]
> > > > writes:
> > > >
> > > > <<
> > > >
> > > > I thought it best to die still free, aflame,
> > > >
> > > > not risk some rueful future, clipped and tame. >>
> > > >
> >
>
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