Well done, Gary. This was a poem after my own heart. I one that is
somewhat
similar, though not so good. Sue
Sue, thanks. I would like to see it.
*
In a way I think 'I desire to be a backpack' was a more startling finish to
a luggage poem. I feel this finish is a bit resigned forwwhat is a crazy
tour de force. But fun!
bw
SallyE
Sally, yes where this one went. Re other luggage poems, I am doing a III
(to cover the contents when packed), but wonder if each weaker than the
last. But the idea is not a luggage poem, but personification of something,
anything. A forest, tree, limb, branch, leaf, needle. A slug, bycycle,
house, the loo, cancer, even the turd in the loo. Someone said luggage was
lowly, but to me, nothing but the evil - almost all human - are too lowly
for a subject.
Thanks.
*
I think the narrative is very confused eg who/what does S3 refer to? With
the clipping you've used, it seems to refer back to all the family luggage,
but obviously doesn't apply to all of them -a steamer trunk is not designed
for railway luggage racks, for instance.
I tried reading it as if the body of the poem referred to you as luggage,
but bringing in the parents and grandparents muddies this again. My
suggestion would be th use the grand/parents as the first part of the poem,
then concentrate on yourself and your journeys.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
When you are right, you are right, so I've taken out the family later.
Thanks, friend.
*
And thanks, Sis, for the kind words.
Gary
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