Hi Colin,

A couple of thoughts.

I think this woul dbe better with abbreviations where possible - 'can't '
instead of 'cannot' etc.

Similarly, I think that 'must' in L4, S3 ought to perhaps be 'have to'.

I think S4 doesn't sustain the thread of the piece - there is work involved
in making the link back to the concert, for me anyway, and it detracted a
little from my reading.

Cheerrs,

Frank

> Pop concert
>
> Some friends brought me here
> but I do not know them any more.
> They are owned by the music.
> In the crowded hall where all lights
>
> throb down in stunning colours
> I stand alone. The figure on stage sings.
> I do not understand him but feel
> the dim thud of the sound inside my head.
>
> I move closer but cannot enter the golden zone,
> so slope away and only then
> the stage proves itself a mirror
> I must turn from to uncover.
>
> This bloom that seemed so frail in the storm
> that could have died in the  wilderness
> grows strong in this soil like a pale narcissus,
> unfolds and comes to flower here
>
> in this hot-house of lust and sweat.
> It is fertile with people like a rippled field.
> Their pounding bodies have enriched the mud
> and the damp skin and beating blood
>
> nourish the plant till its leaves scintillate
> and it sinks its roots down, is strengthened
> by soil and tender weather,
> becomes firm and turns to the light
>
> that radiates from a thousand avid faces.
> It has been sucked in to its fecund bed.
> It is effortless now. The mud wants him enough.
> He offers them bliss and they take what they can.
>
> The conduit for these roots is ready made.
> They accepts him as he seems and reject
> any strand that does not ring to the critical tone,
> demand only this, to know themselves
>
> through his blind trifid fulfilment,
> pump sustenance in until the seedling
> can swell no further,
> becomes bloated and overgrown.
>
> As the soil claims him he changes for ever
> this land that has taken him as its own.
>
> __________________________________
>
>
> Colin