Sue,

I like this poem a lot. I suggest the first three lines are written to
clarify that the narrator is outside looking in - not that this is ambiguous
but it doesn't come across with the authority evident in the rest of the
poem. I suggest something along the lines of, From
darkness.......................we stare into a corner cafe. (Don't know what
to put in between).

I like the strong orientating comment towards the end of the poem. As it
seems to me statements of this type have a place in poetry, alongside the
poetic images.

The end could be condensed to good effect: " as blind and helpless as
moths." The ref to nighthawks in H's painting may be appropriate and correct
but I don't know if the poem needs it - suggest that it is relegated to the
title.

Fabulous poem.

Colin




----- Original Message -----
From: "Sue Scalf" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2003 4:01 PM
Subject: new: Nighthawks


Nighthawks*



In darkness lit only by the glare
from seamless windows,
we are staring into a corner cafe
where two coffee urns reflect
fluorescent coldness
as hard as these faces—
one counter man, three customers--
each looking slantwise or down.
No one touches.
No one talks.
It could be any time,
any street, any place,
a planet circling some dying star.
It may be two a.m.; it may be New York.
We've all been there:
in that space
where people wait
for something, someone,
and a pocket of light holds us
blind and helpless,
nighthawks circling.

Sue Scalf



*based on Edward Hopper's painting of the same name