Just a few nits:
1. don't you think all those Heres become ridiculous in their repetitivity?
and I'm sure that risibility was not your aim.
2. Why cap all lines? Why limit punctuation to a couple of question marks
and full stops (periods) at the end of the stanzas?
3. "body electric" is on the verge of clichè, and anyway off-key and out of
place in thic context
4. are you seriously trying to equate the prohibition of ice-lollies on the
bus to Dachau and what Dachau represents? Post-war Germany has been so
brain-washed regarding its past sins that your ice-lolly probably seemed a
sort of sacrilege to the bus-driver. Would you chew gum during Mass?
There are some good things here, but they are weighed down by clichè,
abstraction and , for some private reason, unhistorical animosity.
Did you lose family at Dachau? Somehow I think not. The ice-lolly wouldn't
fit in.
best wishes
antidora