Shah, I am glad, as I am sure all are glad, that
 you have recovered so well.
You have a good poem going here. 'The One is white' reminds me of Robert
Graves'  White Goddess to whom all poets are in thrall.
Misdemeanour is a strange word in this context, misdemeanour is a minor
crime in the West or at least carries that connotation. If I was sure what
she was laughing at I might suggest an alternative. You might replace 'own
misdemeanour' with' triumph/victory', which seems to make sense to me. Drop
'In the course of History ' altogether. Rework the last two or three lines
of this strophe into a less prosaic form of words. You will have to explain
'primal climate' for me. I think you were attempting to double alliterate
with 'paltry clothes', which is fine but just take your time to find the
right words and do not accept the first that come along.
Poetry is a gift , I will accept that premise, we are not all poets, for
which we should be grateful I suppose, but it is a craft also and although
often the first flow of words can be the best, I have found that careful
crafting of the poem afterwards while offering a deeper insight into what
one is working towards as a poet, also gives us a better poem and ultimately
that skill developed through 'crafting' becomes a better facility for that
'first flow' to use. If that makes any kind of sense. As an analogy do you
not find the algorithmic approach to diagnosis which followed meticulously
in the early days becomes a natural approach over time. Almost without
thought.
Writing a poem about poetry is a difficult thing to do, slightly incestuous
I often think. Nevertheless I think you have done well. Regards Arthur.
You might find this link interesting, Shah.:
http://nrg.com.au/~devouia/WytGdess.html

----- Original Message -----
From: "c s shah" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2003 5:00 AM
Subject: NEW:Poetry is a Mischievous Lady


> Last fortnight - Had severe GIT disturbance - remains undiagnosed still
> - despite CT Scan, Gastroscopies, blood and all pathological tests, etc.
> But the good news is that I am better now; hence one poem:
>
>
>  Modern Poetry is a Mischievous Lady
>
>  The One is white
>  and a prism is placed;
>  not satisfied with the seven
>  she adds more prisms,
>  and laughs at her
>  own misdemeanor;
>  it reverberates through ages
>  as poetry without form.
>  ~
>  In the course of history
>  in the mirror of a lake
>  a shadow stands still,
>  and a pebble strikes.
>  Ripples break the image
>  into fragments, and
>  our lady supplies the words
>  to rebuild the original.
>  ~
>  Lady resides in primal climate,
>  needs paltry clothes as a cover;
>  she is a voice
>  that needs no form to deliver.
>  ~
>
> c s shah