Hi Ann,
Yes... I see what you're about now! (I can be thick at times!)
As a suggestion - could you make this a piece about one particular
experience? Then infer that there's plenty more experiences like this one?
Sometimes a valuable question to ask about a poem is: "Is is focused?" I
sort of mean Romeo & Juliet is very focused as a play (one man & one woman!)
but almost everyone who sees it then sees so many other lovers facing so
many other tragedies. I think it's a good theme - but being more specific,
maybe giving the images more detail, may help a reader (may help me) see
things that help us recognise that this is a poem that explores how we feel
as readers. To say something almost altogether over-grand: the more
particular a poem appears, the more universal it becomes - (sometimes) -
LOL!
Bob
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: Finders
>Date: Fri, 1 Aug 2003 16:51:44 +0000
>
>Hi Ann,
>I'm wondering, I'm still wondering, who the "they" are? I guess once I know
>it will all fall into place and I'll think "Yes, of course! Yes, I like
>that! Yes, that's a canny way of saying that!" But, at the moment, I'm
>still
>outside the poem, trying to make my mind see it as a whole. Are you holding
>lots of things back? Help...
>Bob
>
>
>>From: "V. W." <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New Sub: Finders
>>Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2003 15:24:36 EDT
>>
>>
>>Finders
>>
>>From crowded
>>yesterdays they come,
>>pushing their faces
>>into mine.
>>
>>Arriving at certain
>>times of the year,
>>clamorous as crows.
>>Who knows how they find me?
>>
>>These half familiars
>>rise up like spectres,
>>incorruptible as coffin nails.
>>Impale each small dream
>>
>>to a shrinking horizion.
>>Narrowing
>>the season's
>>fertile abundance,
>>
>>'till there is only winter,
>>flinty and hard.
>>Constructing it's
>>more permanent border.
>>
>>Ann Stockton
>
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