Hi James,
Sorry about the colour, I probably shouldn't have done that. Each character
is colour coded - black, green and crimson, so far. Partly working in
response to a suggestion from Christina some time ago - trying to match some
personality charactersitic to the colour - not sweating on that too much,
but am consciuos of it.
I note your point about the last line and ending - will have to think on
that a little. In terms of the ending, this is piece 2 of perhaps 15, so
hopefully there will be a sense of continuity with before and after, though
maybe not.
Cheers,
Frank
> Hi Frank,
> I found this quite a powerful poem marred only by the last short line.
Maybe
> "that is", though not much better. I'd like to see a stronger ending for
> this. Also, I don't think you needed the red to emphasise.
>
>
>
> bw
> James
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