Dear Colin,
Can I put my response to the poem in very simple terms? I found it stodgy
and boring, and it just didn't tempt me to read on. It isn't a long poem -it
just seems longer than its length because it's prosaic and stodgy.
However interesting you feel the ideas expressed in a poem may be, you have
to communicate them in a way that's appealing to readers. I feel almost
you're accusing the readers of inattention or some other lapse here, instead
of considering if the failure is yours as the author.
I have a deep conviction that no reader has a duty to read any poem -it's
the author's duty to make the poem appealing in some way.
As Christina said, who's interested in a 'confrontation with a
colleague'?-it sounds grey and lifeless from the start.
Perhaps the challenge is to present the 'deep' ideas in a light, fresh way
that seduces a reader. Let the lines dance rather than plod.
Kind regards,
     grasshopper


----- Original Message -----
From: "Colin dewar" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, July 28, 2003 9:38 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] feedback/confrontation


> Shah, John, Christina, Bob
>
> Thanks for your comments. The poem is not attempting to recreate an
> experience (which may never have existed) but to embody an idea.. It's
> deliberately short on illustration, the sound of a slammed door the kicked
> shin and so on. Nothing so sophisticated. Instead the reader has an
> opportunity to test the content against their own experience. Is it ever
the
> case that we can anticipate the actions of another person through a better
> knowledge of our own nature, or is this rubbish? The reader can decide.
>
> The ideas in it (not mine) have already crossed disciplines more than
once.
> Why not poetry? I suppose it's ironic that in this poem they should be
found
> too long when they are already a summary of a summary of fairly beefy
texts
> in which people argued in favour of those ideas. If in poetry how could
the
> same ideas be presented? I don't know. This is just one clumsy attempt.
> However probably not in a short, heavily illustrated, understated poem.
That
> might produce a poem that was popular in contemporary terms, but at what
> cost?
>
> Has the feedback been helpful? Would I like more of it? A resounding yes
on
> both counts. Other wise why post? One of the things that come across is
that
> people seem at ease with a more empirical format, some bread to help the
jam
> go down. So that could be a challenge for me for the future, perhaps, to
> manage these ideas in a more empirical setting.
>
> In the meantime my next sub about a door is on a similar theme. See what
> you think.  No worries if you don't get along with it.
>
> Colin
>