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Subject:

Re: New: Eric The Red

From:

Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 09:55:30 +0000

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (72 lines)

Hi John,
I always find song lyrics difficult to read - because I keep wanting to hear 
the tune as well (and, here I don't know it - obviously - LOL!)
I wonder, though, how the stanza breaks will work... Will the singers have a 
long pause in mid-sentence
before they start singing again?
And with the rhythm... at times I really do feel as if I need to know the 
rhythm of the tune to see if it matches. I keep considering stressed and 
unstressed beats but I know children have a great appreciation of the 
musicality of words - it's the sound more than the sense that appeals, what 
it means might only dawn afterwards.
And - maybe here I'm just curious - will they have ever seen a "red" 
squrrel? (I'm not suggesting it gets changed to "Gary The Grey" though! 
Honest! H'm, Gary Gray... there's a name to play with...)
Bob


>From: Sandré Clays <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New:   Eric The Red
>Date: Thu, 17 Jul 2003 15:34:12 EDT
>
>FROM JOHN
>
>I have been asked to write a children's' poem (ages 6 - 10) which will be 
>put
>to music and performed by the children.  I suppose in effect it is lyric
>writing, hence the half line repatriation.
>
>Any comments welcome. Thank you.
>
>Eric The Red
>
>Eric the red squirrel had a happy life
>                          had a happy life
>as he hopped across his native lawn
>                          his native lawn
>part of the school grounds, searching for food
>to feed his partner Tilly and their two babies
>Benny and Ellie., a pigeon pair who would
>soon be leaving home.  Late afternoon sun
>                          Late afternoon sun
>
>cast longer shadows made it easier to spot
>                          easier to spot
>crumbs and titbits left out by the children
>                          left out by the children
>His little heart beat faster with excitement,
>as he saw shadow of apple and sultana
>cereal bar that someone had dropped.
>He thought that would make a nice meal
>                          make a nice meal
>
>for his family and there might be some seconds
>                          be some seconds
>All those healthy extras made it moreish
>                          made it moreish.
>Snatching up the bar he scurried home
>to his dray collected the pair on the way
>where he put it on a tray gave it to Tilly
>and She said "Yeah man that'll do it for me"
>                          that'll do it for me"
>
>Wbw
>
>John

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