Shalom Bob

Thank you for your fine comments; much appreciated.

kol tuv, Ryfkah


In a message dated 07.15.03 3:19:17 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:

<< Hi Ryfkah,
A fine read! And I've read it through possibly enough times to know it by
heart!
And two thoughts:
You write:
"the empty indentation of your body"
which I guess means: 'the indentation left by your body' (- which is no
longer there!). I'm sort of confused here, because I think I know what you
mean - it's just that I'm wondering if the words you use are saying that...

And the other thing I wonder about is the  line about notalgia near the
end... It seems to appear out of nowhere - even tho the poem is all being
about nostalgia. It really surprises me! It feels as if you've interrupted
the poem, butted in, to tell me this. Perhaps there's a way of being less
dramatic? Or some way of softening the tone of this statement? Some way of
helping me feel what's going on, instead of shouting so loudly in my ear!
The line wakes me up before the birdsong does.
Bob
 >>