Hi Sarah,
Welcome back!
Looking through the poem, and comments that are being made by others, I'm
agreeing that it's a canny piece of writing - and the suggestions of where
it needs a haircut, a bit snipped away here and there, seem to work!
I guess the questions being asked are: is this really necessasary? Has this
already been said?
I noticed the word "impossible" too! Now that's an important word for the
whole poem (as well as for the minutes it's describing)! It sizzles as a
poem!
Bob


>From: Sarah Willans <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: The Slowworm's tail
>Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 22:45:16 +0100
>
>I've been too busy to contribute for a while, but I'd be very grateful for
>some input on this:
>
>The slowworm's tail
>
>*The slowworm, in common with many other lizards, sometimes sheds its tail
>(which then wriggles convulsively as it dies) to avoid capture. It soon
>grows a new one.*
>
>Walking the sunlit path alone
>she sees it: thrashing rhythmically, metronomically
>on the stony ground - left, right, left, right,
>coiling tightly, at once reversing.
>
>Tapered tip, twisting over burnished bronze,
>brushes a stump of blood and bone - arcs away,
>to coil again in supple symmetry.
>The newly shed tail, eyeless and mute,
>discovers its own loss.
>
>For impossible minutes she watches,
>as it writhes through the dust at her feet
>aware only that it is not whole.
>What creature cast it off to save itself?
>Which severed part suffers greater pain?
>Where does it find such energy,
>when its heart is gone?

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