Hi Sue -
Like Christina - I got hung up on line 7 - I might suggest "through stark branches" -->>
The poem feels like someone taking communion at the memorial service for a deceased spouse. Why would you want to begin again? How sad.
To me the first stanza powerfully sets tone and mood. The plot really begins on stanza 2. A rumination on all the world's empty metaphors, but loss is still loss - and the wine of communion doesn't heal the wounds. Nicely done.
Scott
--
--------- Original Message ---------
DATE: Wed, 2 Jul 2003 09:56:44
From: Sue Scalf <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Cc:
>Replete
>
>
>I have learned
>a million metaphors:
>a hole in the sky
>where there was a star
>or just a tree gone
>and wind blowing
>where no branches are,
>a voice I cannot hear,
>an empty hand.
>
>I know six pairs of shoes
>fitted to his feet,
>the memory of steps,
>places they have been,
>a walking cane that leans,
>a pillow for his head,
>the joke, the belly laugh,
>everything that masks
>what I cannot tell.
>Communion wafers are thin
>as moonlight;
>wine galls the tongue.
>
>Take this cup
>and spill dark seeds
>of blood upon the ground.
>Having drunk my fill,
>I cannot begin again.
>
>Sue Scalf
>
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