Hi Frank,
I found this highly effective. I kept thinking about parallels with Dylan
Thomas' "Under Milk Wood". I think you have the makings of a dramatic
dialogue here, though I believe verse novels are more sellable. Great stuff.



bw
James





>From: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: sub - those that knew kirby blake
>Date: Mon, 30 Jun 2003 23:43:23 +1000
>
>those that knew kirby blake
>      I knew kirby blake
>      he was a good man
>      sold me my two and a half acres
>      up on top of the town
>      where I've been happy for fifteen years now
>      he was a good man
>
>           I knew kirby too
>           he lent me money once
>           when I needed it
>           charged me no interest
>           said friends don't do that to each other
>           he was a friend to me
>
>      I knew kirby from when he was ...
>      ...
>
>ah kirby
>so these people knew you did they
>experienced you on their streets and in their homes
>took your help and claimed you as their friend
>sending you to your grave now
>killed a second time
>by drowning in the syrup
>dripped by their mourning tongues
>every one of them something nice to say
>
>each of them a liar
>who helped himself to a little piece of you
>making you smaller
>
>better not to dwell on naming names
>assigning crimes big and small
>but it should be me pointing a finger and saying
>you there
>you knew kirby blake
>and you took from him.
>
>and you over there
>you knew kirby
>but you never made the time
>to find out about him
>
>you
>at the back
>you stole all you could get
>
>yes I could remind them
>of a thing or two
>hypocrites
>
>kirby blake was the best I man I ever knew
>for acting straight with a m..
>...
>
>but I knew you kirby
>I knew when you needed to be held
>sometimes in the night
>when you didn't know what was to be
>and you were afraid
>until I rocked you quiet in my arms
>wrapped you up in my song
>
>I knew the way you closed your eyes
>when you were inside me
>with the sweat running from your face
>and your shoulders
>in the afternoon heat
>until it fell to me and rubbed between us
>
>kirby I knew what it was to give myself to you
>so you could get your strength
>feel yourself a man
>confront these fools and leeches
>every day
>
>get it over
>get it over
>just hurry up and finish
>
>... and he made me a gift of it
>I won't ever forget him
>
>amen to that

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