Hi Arthur,
The first time I read this I found I was wishing stanzas 4,5, 6 weren't 
there. They seemed sort of manufactured... and I was wanting to know more 
about the guy and the child, about their experience of the walk. In the end 
I guess what I'm wanting to read about could tell me things as profound/deep 
as what you've written - but do so with the innocence of merely showing me. 
I'm longing to know what the walk was like! (Far more than knowing what 
you're musing about) - so be subtle...
And the last couplet is winner (not just for it's link with the start - but 
for the sentiment it shows!)
Bob






>From: arthur seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Start Over
>Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2003 11:12:52 -0000
>
>Start over.
>( For Ewan, my great grandson.)
>
>After you had suckled
>I folded you to me
>for a walk through your first snows.
>
>Buttresses of winter trees,
>grey and stark, silent cathedrals,
>arched over the air.
>
>The fields were sheer and brilliant
>up to the white hills
>and the sky heavy with new falls.
>
>We were figures in a landscape,
>barely defined, a dark brush stroke
>on the canvas of the day.
>
>I mused on beginnings;
>to cast off this misgiving, that shame;
>shed sins as a tree drops leaves,
>
>strew them down the avenues of wind,
>be rid of them, cleansed;
>be babe-innocent once more,
>
>know afresh the first full kiss of nipple,
>rinse my mouth with mother’s milk.


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