Hey Gary,
This is mega-brill! It may be I'm thinking that because I've been enjoying 
some of Stafford's poetry all the more over the last few years - but I'm 
also relishing the things you mention, and the way you mention them.
If I have one small puzzlement... you seem to infer (sometimes when I read 
it) that your bowl of "cereals" with milk and sugar is a thin gruel compared 
to his food. But such a start to the day (start to writing, seeing and 
valuing things, whatever...) is so good in itself. I wonder if it were 
possible to maybe say something less deprecating at the end. I do get a 
feeling, from his writing, he was the kind of guy who'd be more pleased with 
your pleasures. His poems certainly make me taste things sweeter, clearer, 
so perhaps I'm trying to slap my ending on your poem. But, whaddya think?
And, I've just noticed, "His yield" or "His yields"?
Bob


>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Following Bill through Early Morning (rewrite)
>Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 12:04:46 -0700
>
>Following Bill through Early Morning
>
>
>
>Forgive these shadows I cling to, good people
>    --Some Shadows, William Stafford
>
>
>
>Bill carried Kansas like treasures
>stored in a oft repaired  knapsack
>
>with a small hole in the one corner
>
>leaking memories on flat, dry roads
>
>to be carefully gathered as we scoured
>
>the ditches for Nehi bottles.
>
>
>
>I carry that Washington stump farm
>
>like a rusted bucket full of berries
>
>twice spilled as I scrambled over
>
>log and brush to the flat rock road,
>
>the picking now more dirt, stone and twig
>
>than a hard-earned harvest.
>
>
>
>We both picked the West side
>
>of the Cascades, perhaps a short day's
>
>ride from each other.  His yield
>
>pies, jams and wine for winter enjoyment,
>
>mine barely enough for a bowl
>
>covered with milk and sugar.
>
>
>
>(Early Morning is the title of Kim Stafford's tribute to his father.)
>
>
>
>
>
>IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....The 
>homepage on hold until ???--- Writer's Hood at 
>http://www.writershood.com/.....Check out the Auden contest.  Poets for 
>Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!

_________________________________________________________________
It's fast, it's easy and it's free. Get MSN Messenger today! 
http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger