Hi bob,
yes it's difficult to know quite what to do to decrease sentimentality in
what is very much a sentimental moment. I've done a bit of searching for the
over-obvious, in response to comments to date
The mascara and lipstick have indeed disappeared from mother's collection
and of course the young katy somehow has them in her possession.
The shotgun was not real but was referred to by mother as being father's
protective attitude in the course of the actual evening, and by father
afterwards when I rang to get feedback on how it all turned out. A
metaphorical expression of guardianship, I think.
Cheers and thanks,
Frank
> Hi Frank,
> ... Yeh, it's a sentimental subject! But, yeh, I think you've caught the
> mood! Caught it really well. (I'm interested in how this gets so
> sentimental, I mean it's not written from a mother's, or sister's, or
> somebody close's point of view - so it might be possible to shave bits
> off...). But it might also be a subject that has to touch a reader in the
> way it does to work at all...
> And two questions out of ignorance...
> Is it the first time she's borrowed the mascara? (I sort of feel she may
> have borrowed it before, just to practice - honest!) And...
> I'm mega surprised by the shotgun!!!! (Does this happen???) (Maybe it
> does...)
> Bob
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