Hi Frank,
... Yeh, it's a sentimental subject! But, yeh, I think you've caught the
mood! Caught it really well. (I'm interested in how this gets so
sentimental, I mean it's not written from a mother's, or sister's, or
somebody close's point of view - so it might be possible to shave bits
off...). But it might also be a subject that has to touch a reader in the
way it does to work at all...
And two questions out of ignorance...
Is it the first time she's borrowed the mascara? (I sort of feel she may
have borrowed it before, just to practice - honest!) And...
I'm mega surprised by the shotgun!!!! (Does this happen???) (Maybe it
does...)
Bob



>From: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: sub - katy's scrubbing up
>Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003 23:48:12 +1000
>
>And now, I really owe some commentary - I'll aim for tomorrow.
>
>Cheers,
>
>Frank
>
>~~~~~~~~~~
>katy's scrubbing up
>
>mama's checking out the make-up
>rummaging for things she hasn't seen since
>well
>let's say
>they've been missing awhile
>but she thinks she might know where to find them
>they'll be in katy's room
>
>katy's scrubbing up tonight
>glitter in her hair
>she's had the beauty parlour treatment
>to look gorgeous
>for the ball
>cha cha cha
>for dancing
>
>fourteen years and six feet tall
>slender as a model on the cat-walk
>she'll be black off the shoulder
>pink in a shawl
>a little colour on the cheeks
>black eye-liner
>and yes
>that'll be the missing mascara
>
>and the lipstick
>
>those two will be gone awhile
>it's time for girl business
>in the bedroom
>but papa
>have you charged the camera
>
>because here she comes now
>look at her would you
>just look
>who would have believed
>too too beautiful
>
>strike a pose by the mantle shelf
>underneath the painting we brought away
>from grandma's house
>she might not approve of black
>but she'd be just so proud of you
>and happy
>
>little brother please
>remove yourself
>this is not your picture
>or your time
>you'll have to wait your turn
>
>papa take katy now
>it's time she made her entrance
>
>no
>you won't need to carry
>the shotgun
>
>she'll be fine you know
>she's a big girl
>still your baby
>but she'll be fine
>
>he'll be worried all night
>fretting like a
>well
>like the father of a young beauty
>taking steps into the world
>and away
>
>nervous
>
>keep him busy if you can
>talk motor cars
>help him do something with the radiator
>or the carby
>until one o'clock
>or so
>
>until she gets home
>
>~

_________________________________________________________________
Hotmail messages direct to your mobile phone http://www.msn.co.uk/msnmobile