This poem expresses a common experience of all who rear young daughter's out
of childhood and into those dangerous teenage years. As to tweaks, it needs
none, except I really think it needs to be cut some. The length and the
details here seem to want to draw it into a bit of sentimentality. Can you use more
figurative language? It is a wonderful tool to bring in meaning indirectly
as does the use of symbols. Think all these lines. And thank you for this
fine new work. Sue
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