Thanks for the input; I may change plumb since no one gets its meaning as
full.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 06.23.03 6:58:15 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< I like this very much, Ryfkah but I found the beginning distracting:
loons/lagoon/loom feels heavy to me. Such emphasis on the oo sounds seems
more to do
with poetry than the message of the poem. I wonder what you mean by plumb
bloom? Is it a typo? These things apart, the poem works well for me. It
reminds
me of very similar incidents in the UK where Indian women were spat on in the
street which just goes to show how ill-informed our societies can be and how
easily hatred flares up. I like the weaving of the verses and the imagery.
bw
christina >>
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