Hi Sue,
Ooooh, are we ganging up on you here, Sue? LOL! I'm still thinking much the
same as Christina too!
Perhaps you're seeing the poem as becoming a meditative/reflective piece and
maybe we're wanting to see it as offering us some drama.
H'm, there's always a problem, for me, in classifying poems, and describing
what they're doing... So, sometimes when I'm reading I can describe one
piece as being "loud" and another piece as being "soft" or "quiet." This
poem, in its initial drafts, seemed noisy. Perhaps I see the process of
working towards some kind of (ahem, shall we say) self-composure as
something that frequently involves noise... (says Kierkegaard banging around
the dustbins of Copenhagen then going home to write!).
It might be... that there's two pieces agrowing here (like Johnny
I'll-shout-it-if-I-want-to Milton found: Paraidise Lost and then Paradise
Found!). Maybe a second piece that sort of mirrors/or echoes/or reverses the
development of the poem up until the chains start to creak... ? Know what I
mean?
Bob
Oh, a PS...
... the line about the Spanish moss still seems too short to me! It's only
saying one smallish thing whereas so many lines in the poem are saying two
or more things! Grin.
B

>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New: Spirits (repost)
>Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2003 09:40:57 EDT
>
>I think I still prefer the earlier two versions, Sue.  Maybe time to put it
>away for a while and see them all with fresh eyes later?  They're all good:
>it's just a matter of deciding where you want to leave the reader.  I
>thought the
>earlier endings were spookier and more open from the point of view of the
>reader.
>bw
>christina
>
>
> >
> > Christina, I have revised this thing again.  I am sick of it by now.
>Here is
> >
>
>

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