Thanks for the thoughts Gary. I'll probably keep the present form as it was
the way it came out but will certainly take your other comments into serious
consideration.
bw
James
>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: A Word
>Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2003 08:59:18 -0700
>
>James, well written, but here
>
>liquids that
>he said
>was delaquiscent
>
>what a word
>delaquiscent
>
>so eloquent
>for a place with
>
>I would drop S2 and redo the next as
>
>such an eloquent word
>for a place with
>
>I would also go for longer lines, that and that was as lines do not work
>for
>me. The read is not smooth to me
>
>that was pause a longtimeago pause in a place do pause etc
>
>Thanks.
>
>Gary
>
>
>IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....The
>homepage
>on hold until ???--- Writer's Hood at http://www.writershood.com/.....Check
>out the Auden contest. Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
>
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