CS, thoughts;
She was short of breath
from climbing steep hillock; (add a the)
sweat added lustre
to her flushed face.
Attractions were too many (add Her)
for him to paint in one stroke:
dangling tuft of silky hair (tufts)
and slimness of waist (, vs and)
losing their curvature (her vs their)
in straightness of neck.
The canvas still holds true
but remains half painted,
for colour dried fast that day (no for)
in the warmth of their embrace.
Thanks.
Gary
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