Hello again Shah,
This is just an idea, bin it if you disagree with it, but what about putting all this piece into the present tense, to create a sense of immediacy? Like this:
Striding at a brisk pace
beside the cars and buses;
" Taxi, sir?"
"Yes, Templeton Road, please."
Gears change, brakes loosen,
acceleration and I relax.
He whistles a popular tune
I tap my foot in time;
he´s about my age, a usual driver.
"12th Street. Space auditorium, I say
as we near the destination.
He brings the car to a halt, inquires,
"Shall I wait?"
"No thanks; I´m not sure of the time."
"Who is?" he laughs.
Best wishes, mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Deeper Meanings
Feet strode at brisk pace,
as also buses and cars;
"Ahoy, sir, taxi?"
"Yes, Templeton Road, please."
Gear changed, brakes loosened,
accelerator advanced, and I relaxed.
He was whistling a tune
of my favorite song;
must be of my age, a usual taxi driver.
"12th Street, Space Auditorium," I said
as we neared the destination.
He brought the car to a halt, inquired:
"Sir, may I wait?"
"No, thanks; I am not sure of time."
"Who is?" he laughed.
--
c s shah
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