Hello again Grasshopper,
                        Well, looks like I´ve done it again - not got the point. On first reading the poem I took `he´ to refer to the flegling bird, but it ´s the bird watcher isn´t it? And the mother´s  milk is his own mother´s  milk. I think you´d better ignore everything I said in my first reaction to this piece. It all looks quite different now I have the key. I´m still a bit bothered by lines 4-6 but that´s probably the result of the opacity of my mind and given a few hours to pore over it it will probably look quite different to me. It´s extraordinary, though, how missing one link in a poem can totally alter the reader´s  reception of it. This will probably make you laugh but I thought you had wanted me to believe that the fledgling was imagining how mother´s  milk would taste. I´m desperately searching for some kind of defence for my stupidity, and the only straw I can come up with is the phrase `if a bird can frown, it frowns´. My response to this was, a bird can´t frown, and from then on I believed that all my misunderstandings were other examples of asking me to believe that birds were doing things they can´t really do. I shall retire now to the garden where I shall eat worms and try to recall the taste of mother´s milk.


Best wishes,   Mike

 


--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
blue-tit is an ample metaphorical bird for a segue into a discussion of mother's milk.

I am not sure that "infinitely" is a good way to described "flustered".  Its lack of specificity seems to diminish the image of "flustered" at least for me.

"gape and gulp of demand" - very vivid and effective.

I am curious about what seems to me to be the random placement of the repetion of the mother's milk phrases.  What was your motivation for their placement? My eye immediately wants to set it as a theme like a symphonic signature at least once in the beginning, so as to prepare the reader for the hook.


The imagery of a caterpillar/moth transformation being allegorical (by juxtaposition) to the milk-feeding(rearing) of children into their eventual transformation into awareness is quite alluring.  Even though I don't usually want to think too much about the taste of mother's milk, it seems you have handled this topic in an artistic manner well suited for this lovely presentation.

The more I read this poem; the more I like it.  And the more the apparent assymetry seems to make sense.

--

--------- Original Message ---------

DATE: Fri, 13 Jun 2003 17:44:17
From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Cc:

>Thoughts from the hide.
>
>He watches a blue-tit feeding
>its young, the fledgling a blur
>and gape and gulp of demand,
>the adult bird infinitely flustered.
>If a bird can frown, it frowns,
>and seeps invisible sweat.
>The tongue knows only four tastes,
>salt , like re-routed tears,
>acid, a dry suck of lemon,
>bitter, the exudate of brilliant beetles,
>and sweet like a strawberry shake
>or his mother's milk
>which he does not remember
>but for which he feels suddenly grateful.
>
>The blue-tit flies off to seek another bug,
>another fat curl of caterpillar,
>which will be as satisfying
>as his mother's milk,
>which he cannot remember.
>The first flavour on his tongue
>apart from its own familar saliva,
>was the taste of his mother's milk
>which he cannot remember
>but for which he is suddenly grateful.
>
>The bird returns with a moth
>as pale as milk, or moonlight.
>The fledgling swallows it with a bulge
>of eyeballs, then gapes again.
>
>                            grasshopper
>



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