Hello there Mike,

I haven't been following things too well lately as I'm in the middle of
producing Arrowhead's latest pamphlet, but just one thought here that a
reshuffle of a stanza would make a big difference, as follows:

>That very modesty which ceased
>to be an issue as I issued
>from between warm, distracted sheets
>in the still and chilly midnight,

Best w
Roger


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Horwood" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 6:00 AM
Subject: Re: ..which contains a little preface - Bob


Hello Bob,
          Thanks for your comments. Interesting that you mention rhythm
because I had tried to avoid the dum-fee-dum-dee-dum rhthm, as you observe.
Apart from the rabbit line, one way I tried to do it is from the middle of
S3 onwards having natural pauses in the middle of the line and forcing the
reader to read over several of the line break without a pause. I don´t know
if it comes across though.

Best wishes,   Mike




--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Hi Mike,
... I remember reading one of Philip Larkin's poems about having to go to
the loo in the middle of the night. A fine riposte to his grumpiness here!
Oh the childhood comfort of flanellette!
I sort of feel the poem sets itself up to be a poem that wants full stops at
the end of each stanza - and lines that don't disturb the rhythm too much.
That's how it seems to start! I'm lulled into a familiar rhythm, and the
rabbit line (after the stanza break) throws me! The final two lines, for me
aswell, seem to have too many words in them! I sort of say them wishing I
needn't say as much! I guess Light Verse is both skillful and simple...
Bob


>From: Mike Horwood <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: ..which contains a little preface
>Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2003 08:27:50 +0300
>
>Preface
>If I might just indulge myself in a little preface; here it is. The subject
>has come up before, and I think we all agree, with a degree of unanimity
>indeed, if unanimity might be said to proceed by degrees, that as
>philosophy goes there´s philosophy and philosophy. And as such, this one´s
>definitely about the meaning of life, which is in any case self-evident
>from the title. But that´s enough from me - on with the show:
>
>
>Ode to a Chamberpot
>
>
>Friend and companion of my days
>of striped pyjamas with
>those plaited drawstrings that always
>got lost down one of its holes
>
>like a rabbit hiding in its burrow.
>Mother to the rescue, concertina-ing
>the absconding cord back to daylight
>and the knotted bow of modesty.
>
>That very modesty which ceased,
>in the still and chilly midnight,
>to be an issue as I issued
>from between warm, distracted sheets
>
>to kneel as one in prayer who pours
>his heart out to his god. I knelt
>and poured and prayed in the dark
>that everythting was going where it should.
>
>
>
>
>Mike

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