Hi G and C,
Thanks for comments. I recognise what you mean by 'blah exposition.',
however (there's always a however), while you correctly point to where the
chase is at in terms of the poem firing up, I think that to start there
would make the narrative too abrupt - maybe that's a style/verbosity thing
for me at personal level - and also, it would place the focus more squarely
on the girl, whereas the poem was actually about the man.
Oh well, that's the way it goes. Glad you enjoyed the capital D, at least.
Frank
> Dear Frank,
> I would start this at Dorothy (yes Capitalised) in a whirlwind, and end
it
> at:
> to face the next storm.
> I think the rest is blah exposition.
> Kind regards,
> grasshopper
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Frank Faust
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2003 1:51 PM
> Subject: [THE-WORKS] sub - towards kansas
>
>
> apropos(?) of a conversation with Christina, I sub this.
>
> Cheers,
>
> F~
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> towards kansas
>
> he has listened to the story
> of a wonderful life
> a tragic affair
> high
> low
> swinging
> exhilaration
> despair
>
> he has watched her eyes
> welling tears that brimmed
> but never broke
> as she herself has not been been broken
> though close
> so very close
>
> dorothy in a whirlwind
> turning and contorting still
> searching desperately for a way
> to click heels together
> while riding riding
> and feeling every whipping lick
> the twisted beast can lash at her
>
> let there be a landing
> but don't make it too fast
> just make it be there
> in reach
> when the moment comes
>
> as she spoke
> he could hear the elemental roar
> feel it
> touched by chill tremors
> while swept along
> in a small part of the journey
> with her
>
> and now it is done
> she has told the tale
> and gone
> to face the next storm
> already bellowing its presence
> in her mind
>
> the house is quiet again
> the world outside the same as it was
> the same as it always is
>
> night has fallen
> and he so restless
>
> unfulfilled
>
> ~
>
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