Hi Shah,
Welcome back!
A comment about the 2nd one...and its last two lines!
I'm wondering if the last line is needed? If it were omitted then the
penultimate line could be jiggled about a bit. It may become: "the mirror
and the lake each share what they know." (which is perhaps changing the
meaning too much, I know!). So it could be: "like friends they share what
they see." Or it could be what you will!
(Perhaps I'm thinking "Two whole lines in such a short poem is too much!"
Bob
P.S. I'm still checking out other Indian poets when I come across them... at
the moment, Eunice de Souza - who I don't get along with as much as Das...
>From: c s shah <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: NEWSUB:Friendship
>Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2003 00:09:31 +0530
>
>Friendship
>
>1.
>His feet are tired from walking the hilly terrain:
>contours that disallow clear view of the road ahead.
>The crow caws above and encourages the traveller –
>shows him a linear path in otherwise serpentine twist.
>Since then the crow and the traveller walk in tandem,
>wings in hand, in their journey to unknown land.
>
>2.
>A tree, fresh after a favourable season,
>looks in nearby lake to inspect her make up,
>and finds a maiden looking into a mirror
>engrossed in her youthful reflection.
>The mirror and lake have evolved a friendship
>that allows interchange of reflected images.
>--
>
>c s shah
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