Dear James, Thanks for your thoughts. Happy New Year. I though that you 
might be interested in.........
             Into That Good Night           PHILIP BURTON 3/04/01
                     -with apologies to Dylan Thomas


My father, were you stunned when death took you?
Sassier than the lot of us you were.
Not one moan as your last breath forsook you?

And when a traffic warden book you
she'd cop a dainty mouthful that's for sure.
My father, were you stunned when death took you?

Bolshie in the blood, contentious, look you,
I can't believe you'd quit without a roar.
Not one moan as your last breath forsook you?

And heaven help any guy who stuck you
for a fiver. You'd roast 'em on a skewer.
My father, were you stunned when death took you?

And how could you glide and let death hook you
without whinging at the doctor's bogus cure?
Not one moan as your last breath forsook you.

No-one's fool, but you lay and let it rook you
you went quiet as a fly-fishing lure.
My father, were you stunned when death took you?
Not one moan as your last breath forsook you.


Publishing Note
Breathe Poetry Magazine published ‘Into That Quiet’ in the June/July 2002 
issue.






>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new submission: THE SIGHT OF AUTUMN (second draft)
>Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 10:40:24 +0000
>
>This is a villanelle and I rather like it. It's a rite of passage these 
>days to do the trad forms, and why not, it's good discipline. I'd go with 
>Sally on the difficulties of the form, the slight jarring effect you can 
>get, but I think you've partly off set this with enjambment. Every time I 
>write a villanelle I always go back to one of the best in the English 
>language "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" to see how I'm doing. 
>Thomas uses the five metric foot form but four is trad too if you've read 
>the books that tell you these things. A good poem Phillip, much better in 
>this draft.
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
>
>
>
>>From: Philip Burton <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: new submission: THE SIGHT OF AUTUMN (second draft)
>>Date: Thu, 2 Jan 2003 20:18:56 +0000
>>
>>THE SIGHT OF AUTUMN….  (second draft)
>>
>>     - a villanelle
>>
>>
>>As I am red-green colour-blind -
>>or ‘colour challenged’ be it said.
>>You think I will be left behind
>>
>>when a palette of hues, unkind
>>as showy Autumn’s, rears its head.
>>As I am red-green colour-blind
>>
>>you think that russets must incline
>>to show me nothing much instead?
>>You think I will be left behind.
>>
>>But in my canopy of mind
>>bright green communicates as red.
>>As I am red-green colour-blind
>>
>>I can see olive green enshrined
>>in pale brown that, to you, is dead.
>>You think I will be left behind
>>
>>by October leaves, yet I find
>>them charming, uncomplicated.
>>As I am red-green colour-blind
>>you think I will be left behind.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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