Carl - gramatically, it's not the slime that is twisting, it is the "it"
And in my experience shifting ideas are just as often unconnected as
connected, but maybe that's just me.
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Carl Reimann
Sent: 19 May 2003 05:58
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Catch me if you can
Hello! I think the title is a bit trite, and I don't like the focus on
"eel-slime", specifically the slime. Slime doesn't twist or wriggle away
from anything. I like the way you are using language in a way that
reflects your central idea. One thought about the central idea: shifting
ideas are often ultimately connected to each other, so that the original
idea is enhanced, not obscured.
Carl
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Catch Me If You Can
slippery as eel-slime
it twists this way
turns that
thought into a maze
of insistent sidetracking
notions that obscure
the original idea
wriggles away
slippery as eel-slime
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