Hello Roger and Barbara,
I noticed the same thing Barbara mentions but I found that it worked quite well as a device for doubling the sense of the lines, as in:
it twists this way (and) turns that (way)
and
it twists this way, turns that thought into a maze
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Hi Roger,
I think if you are not going to use punctuation, than this line break needs
to be changed from
turns that
thought into a maze
into
turns that thought
into a maze
I like how it went from it twists this way/ turns that but then
if you continue reading the piece into the next line... thought into
maze...it just doesn't have a natural flow to it or make sense and you find
yourself reading and thinking...that can't be right. Do you see how I read
it? Maybe it is just me but I found it confusing and it broke the read for
me. Other than that, it was fine.
Barbara O.
> Catch Me If You Can
>
>
> slippery as eel-slime
> it twists this way
> turns that
> thought into a maze
> of insistent sidetracking
> notions that obscure
> the original idea
> wriggles away
> slippery as eel-slime
>
>
> Roger Collett
>
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