Hi Frank,
Very little slack in this at all. Only one line I'd consider not needed.
This is: "So what he put in this canvas". Also seems to strike a slight
false note for the narrative voice. However, like much of your work I like
this very much.
bw
James
>From: Frank Prem <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: sub - scribble artist
>Date: Thu, 15 May 2003 17:24:42 +1000
>
>scribble artist
>
>Eh, Frenki, you are with you computer again? Huh!
>
>Frenk,
>you think you are nekaki writing artist,
>you think you make beautiful thing
>with you pencil,
>with you paper, yes?
>
>Huh!
>slu"saj Frenki, you know nothing.
>You just sitting at you computer,
>writing, writing,
>you make you little story.
>All right,
>is very good,
>but what is this to do with art?
>
>When I was mali boy,
>in village,
>was man who make pictures.
>He can draw you anything you ask,
>but,
>is never look like what he starting with.
>He make twisty,
>he make stand on head,
>he make opposite. He doing all sorts,
>so that picture is,
>but same time,
>is not. You know?
>
>When this man is looking at thing
>what he want to draw,
>he is making change
>u glavi, inside his head, you understand?
>So what he put in this canvas
>is like sin-e-tet-ic picture,
>you know, what I am saying?
>
>Yes, yes,
>is sin-e-te-says by he
>in brain. That what I mean.
>
>What he begin
>is only model,
>what he finish
>is art.
>
>You get this people today,
>they take picture,
>click.
>They put him on easel,
>tsank.
>They draw him exact what they see,
>phooy!
>
>This is not art.
>Art is when you take him out
>from somewhere deep in you head.
>
>Which one is you Frenki,
>artist,
>or just pretty-scribble boy,
>hmm?
>
>Which one you?
>
>~
>
>Frank
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