Hello Ann,
thanks for your comments. I was wondering about terminated but decidied to stay with it because I liked all the t sounds They punctuate the rhythm of the line almost like the pattering of the feet....or is that just me hearing things? Anyway, I´ll give it a bit more thought.
Thanks, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
In a message dated 10/01/2003 13:02:14 GMT Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Dear Mike,
This is great. I feel the bite of the wind, and I see the sad harsh
end. A few alternative suggestions below, regards Ann
> The Pursuit of Signs
>
> These things he knew;
> the wind´s bite on his face coming over the frozen lake, brilliant 2
> lines
>
> the perfect impression of feathers in snow
> where tiny footprints terminated. not sure
> about the last word
>
> Elsewhere would be tufts of fur, the ruin of a skull I would
> ditch 'would be'
> bleached white as salt, as brittle as ice.
>
> He knew the curve of its eye socket and jaw,
> like the signs on a shaman´s fetish.
>
>
>
>
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