A poem well worth the writing, Gary.
It must have been so hard and demoralising a journey to make and not give
up.
Just a couple of points:
I would put a comma between law and flawed so that a breath comes between
the heavy assonance of this line otherwise' law flawed' runs on too closely.
In the strophe following that I wonder if the biblical sequence of sun
halting, trumpets sounding, walls falling should be more closely followed
also I wanted to put 'nor' in front of 'walls fall' but wondered about the
assonance being too heavy then although it does echo 'law, flawed, enforced'
from the previous strophe.
As I say just minor construction points worth considering.......or not.
Thanks for a good read Gary.
Regards Arthur
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary Blankenship" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, May 11, 2003 6:59 PM
Subject: New: Moses in the Promised Land (revision)
Moses in the Promised Land
If they try to kill you, develop a willingness to die.
--Martin Luther King Jr
Moses stood on the mountain
and looked into the promised land -
hickory forests, cotton fields,
Spanish moss, magnolias,
cotton, hay and bayous.
Shanties, catfish shacks,
dirt roads, clapboard churches,
courthouse squares and the county farm.
No columns of fire or smoke guided him,
only examples of the Mahatma.
No plagues of frogs from the heavens
tormented sheriff, mayor or governor,
only a law flawed, unenforced.
The sun did not stand still, walls fall.
Trumpets did not sound, only song,
batons and keys turning in a cell door.
Instead of manna, he was given blood -
Herbert Lee, Louis Allen, Vernon Dahmer,
Andrew Goodman, James Chaney,
Michael Schwerner, James Travis,
his own and many more -
until it seemed he would wander
for forty years times forty
before the whips ceased to their work.
arrested McComb, MI, Liberty and Greenwood; Amite, Pike and Holmes Counties,
Ruleville in Sunflower County, AL interference with an officer, disruption
of the police, being there, photography of a bombed house, distribution of
literature, being a Negro
beaten Liberty, McComb, Greenwood
Robert Moses crossed over the river
and brought the promise home.
Footnote: Miraculously, Robert Moses survived his years leading voter
registration drives in Southwest Mississippi. When I finished the main
chapter on his work in Branch Taylor's Parting the Waters: America in the
King Years 1954-63, I checked the internet expecting the worse - "Robert
Morse: Born 1935, died 1964 shot in McComb, MI." or worse ".disappeared in
Amite County, MI, his body never found." He now teaches algebra.
Taylor Branch's list upon list of Southern crimes can seem almost banal at
times, is numbing until you read the story of Robert Moses. Details may be
found at
http://216.247.70.125/vclass/seevak/groups/2001/sites/moses/index.html
IF MY MAIL BOUNCES, MAIL [log in to unmask] AS AN ALTERNATIVE.....April Arthur
Seeley and Gary poetry poems at:
http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html --- Writer's Hood at
http://www.writershood.com/..... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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