Hello Ryfkah,
Thanks for your comments. I´ll think about trying to keep the stream metaphor, although it´ll be difficult. Once we get to dowsing the stream has flowed away, out of the poem, so to speak.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
In a message dated 05.07.03 12:05:43 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< He knew something was lacking.
Later he called it confidence,
finally a form of trust.
There had been a desire, fear, a lack;
the scrape of furniture, click of a lock,
a key alone on the table. >>
I think you need to continue with the stream metaphor.
I like the standing barefooted by the edge.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
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