Hello Sue,
What I like most about this poem is the music of its rhythm and sounds, especially the internal half-rhymes. My favourite combination is definitely `doom-dawn-storm-alarm´. The long `ii´ sounds work well too, I think, although I wonder just a little about `tree-pedigree-heraldry´ which sound rather heavy to my ear coming as they do at the ends of their lines, and with `genealogy´ in the middle as well. I think some others have mentioned that the poem seems too brief but I think the danger of extending the idea is that it could become laboured. I think I´d leave it this length.
best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
The History of a Yellow Leaf
The history of a yellow leaf
is part of me. There are things
we do not need to learn:
the lineage of a maple tree,
the serpent's pedigree.
The genealogy of grief
requires no heraldry.
We know a doom
when streaks at dawn forecast
impending storm, know in the bone,
the red of alarm.
Some things cannot be taught--
the faithless lover's kiss that lingers long,
a honey on the tongue when winter comes.
In stinging memory, we taste the summer
when bees are gone.
Sue Scalf
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