Frank, I almost want this to end at
he walks home
almost a stagger
he has left his glasses
behind at emile's
(I would cap Emile, Tuesday and the regular proper nouns.)
But your end is better, though I almost wish the next 2 S were removed.
all he can think of
is the sound of gunfire
that annoyed him
in a movie last night
until he turned the television off
and the image of a leg
to and fro
in a vivid red shoe
But in the end, your end works best.
next tuesday
perhaps
he might speak to emile
for the evening was ruined
his solitude broken
she had no right
emile should have prevented
and what was her name
has she been there before
she needs to be taught
something of decorum
and perhaps
if he sees her again
at emile's
he might take the time
to inform her
BTW I like your use of ellipses to relay words not important
to demonstrate that ...
...
in a proof that will stand
VG work. How does it perform?
Thanks.
Gary
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