Hi Gary,
I'm only considering shortening the list you have! I think I initially
hinted that you might have had a quiet voice somewhere inside you that had
considered it too - because I realise I sometimes supress thoughts in the
writing process that others mention when they see the poem in front of them.
I was wondering if that was how it was for you.
Lists in poems work really well - and can be used in all sorts of ways in
all sorts of poems.
If you've already got an audience that can go with the flow (and you feel
they're doing that all the way through) then that's OK! Ha - If it ain't
broke, don't fix it!
Bob
>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New: Grayland Quiet - Bob, grassy
>Date: Mon, 5 May 2003 10:53:13 -0700
>
>But simply saying this isn't too helpful for the poem itself, I guess...
>tho
>I'd consider retaining the one's where the reader can readily imagine both
>sides of a rhetorical/unanswerable lazy debate... sort of say things that
>create a soft smile on the reader's face...
>Bob
>
>Bob, I don't mean to reject your suggestion out of hand, but I need to
>think
>on it. I've read this at a venue and at open mic lately and it is good
>read, short, pleasant. Gets a good reception, so I need to be a wee bit
>careful.
>
>Thanks.
>
>Gary
_________________________________________________________________
Express yourself with cool emoticons http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger
|