Hello Frank,
            I´ve snipped out some phrases and passages and appended some comments:


a handful of banter
behind a flutter of napkin
and the chuckled low laughter
of wine being poured
then emile is gone

Comment: I like the `handful of banter´ and I like the way of describing the sound of the wine being poured, but do you really need both chuckle and laughter? My feeling is not. What about `...and the low chuckle of wine being poured´?




swinging a leg
crossed
at an angle to the table
emerging from beneath a skirt
in red shoes that taper to a point
the movement is back and forth
mesmerising
and she talks


Comment: I feel there´s a bit too much happening here, and too much information given all at once about this leg - it´s swinging and crossed and at an angle and emerging and in red shoes....You see my point. What about:(phrases in brackets optional)

sitting cross-legged
at an angle to the table
(in a black/short/whatever skirt)
swinging a red shoe
(tapering to a point)
back and forth
mesmirising
as she talks




when she leans forward
in a low cut voice
that insinuates itself
into the air
all around him

Comment: I love this bit.


(4)

emile is tut-tut
with a plate on his arm
waved away

Comment: I wonder if you´ve got `tut-tut´ in the wrong position here (?)




his head has begun

he throbs

Comment: Should this be `to throb´?





she speaks in a manner
that amazes
as a headlight might speak
to a rabbit on the road

Comment: I love this bit, too.



Hope these comments are of some use.


Best wishes,   Mike


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