Frank, thanks for the read and generous response.
I note your comment about that last strophe. I know you are not a
punctuation buff but be assured the semi-colon allows me to dispose of the
'as'. The semi-colon allows two complete sentences to be joined without a
conjunction if the writer feels the sentences are closely related. For me
they were.
The inclusion of 'as' would have let the last two lines flow too easily. The
poem needed a 'halting', a 'catch', that only the semi-colon would allow,
IMO.
Useful thing punctuation , sometimes, Frank. *smiles* Regards,Arthur.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Frank Faust" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2003 10:50 AM
Subject: Re: New Sub: Agenbite of Inwit


> Hello Arthur,
>
> I found this to be a fine piece, but wasn't sure about the last couplet.
> There's something to do with the linkage (perhaps it is the tense) between
> the two lines. I was looking for an 'as' at the beginning of the first of
> the.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Frank
>
>
> >      Agenbite of Inwit.
> >
> > In the murmur of voices I recognised my name,
> > laid my book aside, lifted my curtain, stepped into the glare
> >
> > of their scrutiny. They had gathered in shade
> > under the banyan where light through leaves
> >
> > flickered over the grass and tufts of kapok floated.
> > They waited as I read the message.
> >
> > My mother, somewhere, at home,
> > home, somewhere, my mother was dying.
> >
> > They searched my eyes as I folded the paper,
> > neat as a bed-sheet fresh from the line,
> >
> > and tucked it into the breast pocket
> > of my chilled, soaked shirt.
> >
> > I turned to find my long road home;
> > the curtain bulged in a wind from the west.
> >