Hi Colin,
Just getting to look at this piece, a little late, sorry.
In L3, I thought you could lose 'that you ', L4 could lose 'with you'. Line
8 I wondered if 'where no sound' might not work?, line 9 delete 'best'? I
wondered about using 'but quieter' in 2nd last line, but lost my bearings a
little in the last 2 - 3 lines, so am not sure.
I thought the piece quite a rhythmic read and enjoyed.
Cheers,
Frank
> Resolution
>
> What now of your anger
> that you kindled in the windowless room
> and carried with you like a hot coal through crowded streets,
> fanned all the while by self-hurting words?
> It was already half gone
> when you reached the coolness of the wood,
> set foot amongst leaves,
> where nothing returns as you speak,
> no reply to feed from nor follow,
> where you scarce know where best
> to rest your gaze
> there being no intent
> hidden in mossy limb or intricate stem,
> each one like the next,
> unplanned and empty of desire,
> looking then for other words to document
> the softness of ground, the moistness of the air.
>
> What now as you stand
> on the summit of the little hill,
> not alone but with me,
> who likes you no more or less
> than when you shut yourself in an angry room?
> What else but words that turn to sky,
> sinking no longer against a wall
> or banging in anger the window pane
> quieter as they pass away
> and still attended, gone.
>
>
>
> Colin
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